meladoodle:

meladoodle:

meladoodle:

my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”

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i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone

(Source: meladoodle, via otakv)


428,227 notes




paragonikathryn:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

This is genius

(via otakv)


164,663 notes




butttom:

when mutuals reblog something from my ex mutuals

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(via hakununa-matata)


8,068 notes




theangelthatfellfordean:

that moment of intimacy with the person who adjusts your seat belt on a roller coaster

(Source: mishakoalins, via enjoy-the-things-you-can)


423,745 notes




officialunitedstates:

me when it’s raining:  it sure is raining out there

(via hakununa-matata)


6,104 notes




ravclaw:

homework to do: hella

homework i’ve done: negative hella

(Source: tiniestleaf, via moistbottom)


563,233 notes



107,963 notes


I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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(via schoolballs)


140,553 notes




sextnoise:

Does anyone else lie in bed at 2:30am filled with the crippling fear that they’re never going to accomplish anything in life and fail miserably or is that just me

no im just scared of the monster thats under my bed

(via pizza)


962,200 notes




roavaswardrobe:

assvvipe:

summer lovin
had me a blast
summer lovin
dick in my ass

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(Source: roughness, via schoolballs)


365,937 notes




Some people take this website to seriously. 

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(via schoolballs)


340,353 notes